When you find out that your partner has cheated on you, it can cause a flood of emotions that can leave you feeling overwhelmed and as though your entire world has crumbled around you. Questions such as why, how and what now, plus many more start to flood your mind, which may lead to you having reactions that are completely out of character.
The emotional reactions that occur in both partners after finding out that your partner has cheated on you can range from shock, anger, grief, denial, blame etc and none of these should be ignored or suppressed. The most important first step for both partners is to allow yourselves to ‘feel’. Don’t fight the emotions that you are experiencing, instead try to identify them, understand them, acknowledge them and respect that they are normal.
Shame is a common emotion for the partner who has cheated alongside denial.For the person who has been cheated on, blame, anger, resentment and also shame may be experienced.
Strong emotions are your mind and your body’s way of letting you know that something is not in balance. However, when you can understand, accept, acknowledge and process these emotions you already one step closer to healing.
What to Do After Your Partner Cheats on You
Taking care of yourself during this time is of prime importance. Shock, pain, confusion and fear are normal, but can also lead to anxiety and depression and this is why it is vital to work with and not against your emotions. Anxiety and depression can lead to physical reactions such as nausea, sleep problems, difficulty concentrating, over-eating or under-eating, to name but a few. Once the initial shock has worn off, it is vital that you try your best to eat healthy, get enough sleep, exercise and try to bring some fun activities into your life.
Avoid seeking revenge and playing the blame game. If need be, seek counselling either through a professional or from the support and help of your friends and family. Take everything step-by-step and one day at a time, and be very gentle with yourself.
Can a Relationship be Healed After Cheating?
Although trust has been broken after finding out that your partner has cheated on you, there is a chance that the relationship can be healed. After working through your own emotions, take a step back and then look honestly at what may have been the cause. Though your partner may not want to openly reveal what made him/her cheat, it is obvious that something in the relationship was not right. It is imperative to identify any and all issues on both sides that may have contributed to the cheating.
Talk openly and honestly with each other about your feelings, needs and desires before and after the cheating. If you both feel that the relationship is worth healing, there needs to be a commitment to healing together to re-build trust and faith in each other, yourselves as individuals and in the relationship. New foundation must be built, and this can only be done through understanding each of you as individuals, with compassion honesty and forgiveness. Though this may be a long process, it can lead to an even stronger and healthier relationship that may last forever.
Ending the Relationship After Your Partner Cheated…
Some relationships may not survive after a partner has cheated. In these situations, it is sometimes best to walk away even though this can be more painful than the actual cheating itself. In order for you to heal completely you must acknowledge that it cannot work. If your partner will not commit to healing the relationship, will not be open and honest as to why he or she cheated, or if you feel you just cannot trust them again, then it is time to be practical.
All endings lead to new beginnings. If you choose to let go and move forward, do so in a way where your truth, your dignity, respect and honour stay intact. Give yourself time to heal instead of jumping straight into another relationship. It’s important you focus on yourself so that you can learn to trust again and look forward to a happier future and a committed relationship.
About the Author
Tammy is an experienced writer in relationships, self-empowerment and intuitive animal communication. She lives in South Africa with her husband and many loved pets, working primarily as an international Clairvoyant Psychic and Animal Communicator.